I had a few rough years and with each year that passed, my motivation to return to the classroom to do what I had once loved with so much gusto was diminishing. The feeling of excitement and wonder of watching my students learn new information and master new skills didn’t bring me the joy it once had. The reward of seeing them grow and succeed wasn’t enough to get me out of bed. I dreaded the short drive to work each morning. The dread would peak when I’d park the car just outside the gate and I’d begin my mental count down to the time I could get back in my car and drive away.

My mantra’s sounded bland and fake to my ears. When I would walk through the school gates each day, I could feel my blood pressure rise and my heart sink into my stomach. I wore a fake smile and forced enthusiasm for my students and them alone. It wasn’t their fault that I was losing my passion, they had no hand or blame in this. I summoned up what reserves I had to teach and make the experience as enjoyable as possible for them. For them, and them alone.

In November of 2019 I had a heart to heart with myself. I asked myself these three raw questions;

1-Are you happy in your job/line of work?

2-Do you feel that you still have more to give the establishment and the students?

3-Do you feel you can continue in this environment?

The answer to all three was an astounding, and very clear… NO!

My mental and emotional health were in jeopardy. I needed to stop putting everyone else’s feelings and needs ahead of mine. The burn out I was feeling was eating up the reserve energy and sanity I had for emergencies. I was feeling disconnected from my team, my friends and I felt I was losing myself too.

After weighing all the pros and cons of what would happen if I was to resign, I chose to dive into the abyss of uncertainty. I had no plan, but I knew if I stayed where I was, I wouldn’t grow and continue to help people. The heftiest price I would pay, would be losing myself and myself worth if I stayed where I was. So, the only other option I had, was to take a leap of faith and put all my trust in the unknown. If I was a single parent or married my choice may have been different. I was grateful to be single and not have to worry about others and how it would effect them if I took the step.

I would often ask myself, what would I do instead of teaching? For a career spanning twenty years, teaching was all I had ever done.

I won’t lie… I had doubts. There were nights I lay awake staring blankly at the ceiling questioning myself, my motives and calling myself CRAZY !

I considered going back to school and learning a new trade, like; Crime Scene Investigation, Private Investigator or a Chef, just to name a few. As I lay on the couch one night, I asked myself, ‘What other things are you good at?’ cooking, you’re good with people, you give good advice…. there are life coaches, I wonder if there’s such a thing as a parent coach?

A LIGHT BULB MOMENT!

Hmmmmm… ‘I wonder?’ I thought to myself.

Just like that, I began researching. I found that there was indeed something called Parent Coaching and that there were a few institutions that offer the qualification. I read about what Parent Coaching was and it sparked my interest. I got in touch with a few of the institutions and made inquiries.

Some were not very helpful and were mostly interested in me signing up to get my hard earned dinero. I thankfully didn’t fall into that scheme and continued my search until I found an institute that screened people who were interested in enrolling and held an interview with a small panel before accepting anyone into the year commitment of taking courses with them. It was important to them that they chose people who were of a certain caliber and would be committed to finishing the very demanding and hectic year of studying, live discussions, partner work and earning 100 practice hours to graduate.

I felt the green light go off inside my head.

This is the one!

I registered and paid for the 1st installment and eagerly waited for my year of studying and course work to begin.

I embarked on this new journey on March 2021 with hope in my heart and elation filling my spirit. The beginning of the new adventure was far from easy. Schools closed the week after my new chapter started and online learning became the new way of teaching, due to the world being brought to its knees by an invisible enemy, COVID-19.

The last few months of my career in education were spent communicating and connecting with my students through a lens on my laptop. This was new to everyone and it wasn’t easy or enjoyable to say the least. Tension and stress was at an all time high. We all felt like we were flying in the dark, bumping and thumping around not knowing what direction we were going in. To put it bluntly…it was…SHIT.

This was a whole new kind of SHIT STORM.

In the midst of the world and educational crisis that we were all trying to navigate, I couldn’t help but feel relief and gratitude

SAY WHAT?

Yes, I was relieved and grateful.

1- I didn’t have to go to the toxic work place and be around the people who sucked me dry day in and day out.

2- I was in an untainted space that was mine and toxic free.

3-My time doing online learning was limited, it would end when the final semester finished. My poor colleagues would have to continue down this river of chaos for the next year or so. I would be free of it. This alone gave me confidence in the decision that I took. I highly doubt I could have continued teaching online for another year, without being in classroom to cater to the individual differentiated learning needs of my students.

4- I was safe and healthy.

5- I learned that I was stronger than I though. Being alone day in and day out, in solitary would drive many people cuckoo. It didn’t bother me. I reconnected with myself and got to know myself again. It wasn’t all Rosey, I missed my family a lot. This was the longest period of time I had been apart from them without seeing them and with them all in a different country. I hated celebrating my birthday on my own and talking to my tribe over zoom.

Mid June finally came, and on my final day of work, I will admit I was a bit emotional. I had been in the field for twenty years and the school for 9 years, there’s a lot of history there. Turning the final page of a chapter can cause an avalanche of hidden emotions, especially as I waved good bye to the parents and students of my class for the last time. My emotional state was short lived when I attended the final staff meeting and what I heard said about my nine years of service was shockingly disappointing. I wasted no time logging out, turning in my keys and signing out for the last time. I walked out of the gates with my head held high.

I knew 100%, I had made the right choice for me. I wasn’t valued or recognized for the dedication, time and energy I had devoted to my students.

Fast Forward 1 Year Later…

I finished my courses and completed over 100 hours of practice Parent Coaching hours in time for a Spring graduation. Helping my Pro Bono clients over come parenting difficulties and bettering their relationships with their children was humbling and rewarding. It gave me a sense of purpose again.

I may not have the steady pay check and paid vacations that I had grown so used to, which can be hard at times, but it does make me very grateful for every piaster and pound that I earn. I’ve had to readjust my spending priorities, my time is spent raising awareness about Parent Coaching and its benefits. I am grateful for every client that puts their trust in me and allows me to take this journey of positive change with them. I know that building my business and clientele will take time. I am confident that it will happen steadily, one client at a time.

I miss teaching students and watching them grow emotionally, socially and academically but I don’t miss the assessments, report cards, endless staff emails, staff meetings …etc.

Grace de Dieu, this is the most centered, calm and content that I have been in a long time. I’m feeling more and more like the me I used to know. My Joie de Vivre has returned and I see possibilities.

Let my story be a lesson to you, if you feel you are in a job that is bringing you down and robbing you of yourself and your worth, it might be time to change jobs or career paths. It is never too late. The only time it becomes late is when your heart stops beating.